To Whom It May Concern:
by jenamy
Summary: A letter from a Miss Hermione Granger on behalf of fanfiction writers. I find one too many letters written by Malfoy that I felt compelled to write one from Hermione's point of view, it does hold a twist so just bear with me. I am American, it's my firs


To Whom It May Concern:

I'm aware of fandoms, I do read you know and being a muggle myself would know all about them; however, I find it so amusing that so many of you feel the need and want to pair me with the ferret. The one Draco Lucius Malfoy will never be the object of my affections. He's portentous, naïve and a conundrum. Ginny was correct in labeling a Slytherin a poser. They're only out for themselves, they don't involuntarily have a change and bloody hell; how in the name of Merlin can anyone who is a seeker gain muscles? He, just like Harry sits on his broom looking for a little golden ball with wings. I apologize for my language, I normally don't get like this; however, your lack of better judgment has caused me to do so. Another thing I have a strong incongruity with, is the fact many of you feel I would allow two Slytherin's to seduce me at once. As for their own sexuality, I could care less, my friends yes may use me for my brain a lot more than most would deem necessary, yet they're all I have in this world. They saved my life in first year, as I've saved theirs numerous times. I'm well aware the burden on Harry's shoulders, he knows it's his and his alone, however, he also knows no matter the outcome Ron and I are at his side. He is Dumbledore's man through and through, as are Ron and I, well I'm his girl, but you get the point. I find it ridiculous that I turn suddenly into a, erm, well a sex goddess, as you lot put it. I'm the same as I was in first year; I still have my bushy hair, my plain brown eyes, my teeth and my lanky thin body. I don't suddenly receive curves in "all the right places" whatever that rubbish is to mean in the first place. Apparently Ron is also the object of my affections, that, I don't really know how to respond to. We have our history, enough said. Harry, how in Merlin's beard could you lot pair me with the one person who's like a brother to me? Besides, he and Gin are quite a lovely pair if I do say so myself. Don't get me wrong, Harry and Ron are decent young men; however, they're not my type. Ron and I bicker and banter too much to even try a romantic approach to our friendship, and Harry, it would be like snogging my brother, crass. The most distressing pairing I've found is myself and Professor Snape; some while I'm still attending Hogwarts. Professor Snape is a smart man, a wonderful potions master, I do not have a school girl crush on him, or have I, nor will I. The most serious pairing I've come across is with ONE of the twins, not both, that is incest and Fred isn't my type, though he seems the more dominate twin I'm paired with. George is more my type, he's overlooked, and quite funny. He's merely a crush on my best friends' older brother, nothing more. I must end; I've a date to be getting ready for. With whom? I'm sure you're all wondering that. His name, well, his name is Theodore Nott, yes a Slytherin, he's a charming young man. Not a follower of his father, and not afraid to tell him so, one thing I find quite amusing you lot seem to label Malfoy and Zabini as, cowards. Theodore is a gentleman to the core, highly intelligent; he's in Slytherin for a reason, hating me for my blood isn't one of them. Our date is not around school, it's not even on England; yes, we're leaving school grounds on a school night, he won't tell me how we've managed to get to where we're going, I was told I'll enjoy it tremendously though. Now you lot know with whom to pair me with, lets see more of the truth and not anymore of that rubbish, though I will say, I do enjoy reading myself paired with the Malfoy who's on the run with his life and his entire future is in my hands, or ones based on "A Cinderella Story," those I dare say are my favorite to read. I do really have to end, hope I cleared a few things up for you lot. Enjoy your holidays!

-Hermione J. Granger


End file.
